Sunday, April 10, 2011


I'm seriously beginning to believe that bitchassness is making a serious comeback. Just when you think that the pandemic is subsiding or, at least, leveling-off around the globe, you find irrefutable evidence that bitchassness is alive and well like racism and skinny jeans. Bitchassness, as of lately, tends to lie dormant for stretches then comes back, like a rapacious creditor, with more vigor and determination. Saturday, I was having a conversation with a long-time acquaintance (and lifetime loser ... no, I'm not hating, dude's a lifetime loser) that went EXACTLY like this:  

T L: Laughing. I had 2 watch those bastards @ work get paid yesterday ! 12:06 PM
Me: Hey, yours is coming, dog ... you just started Monday 12:10 PM
T L: Nah it wasnt really a big deal cause no 1 I work with does a whole lot outside of work12:12 PM
T L: So I didnt have 2 hear about what they were going 2 do or buy this weekend 12:14 PM
T L: I gotta buy me a Ipod or a phone that whole music, cause we can listen 2 music @ work !!!! 12:20 PM
Me: Get a phone that holds music... Two birds with one stone 4:04 PM
T L: So how do I get the music if I dont have computer 4:05 PM
Me: Utilize your room mate ... he has a computer. 4:14 PM
T L: I told u he dont have it plus Im not paying 4 internet anymore unless its 4 my on damn computer, I told u Im not doing anything 4 anybody !!! 4:18 PM
T L: I have 2 get cut throat like everyone else, cause the fucked up people seems 2 b the ones enjoying life. When I get my computer I will get wireless net b 4:27 PM
T L: ut have a block on it so it only works on my shit !!! 4:27 PM
Me: Hmm, give me a list of 125 songs you want and I'll bless you... for a modest fee of course. *laughing/just kidding*4:27 PM
T L: Laughing. Ill pass I can just wait til I get my on shit, thats why I dont call people friends, thats the shit I b talking about niggaz is cut throat !!! 4:30 PM
T L: So u have a 6 figure job but u will charge me 2 download music !!! WOW 4:32 PM
Me: *laughing* You say THAT but in the same breath you say "I'm not doing shit for nobody". *SMDH* ...I tell you, folk funny these days. :-) 5:02 PM
T L: Nigga I have given u plenty of shit, plus I wasnt including u n that statement but I already new how u were but who the fuck charges somebody they always 5:09 PM
T L: calling their " MAN " 2 download some music thats PRETTY FUCKING LOW, but thats what Ive come 2 expect from U !!! 5:09 PM
Me: *laughing* Wow... no need to get into your feelings about it, Dude, i was only kidding. Besides, the music that I listen to you wouldn't enjoy at all. Daft Punk, Marvin Gaye, Tears for Fears. Duh! *smh* Anyway, Apple is selling the iPhone 3gs for $49 bucks; that would meet both of your needs. *laughing/smh* 5:19 PM
T L: Oh trust me Im not n my feelings, I told u I know what 2 expect from the people around me it doesnt even effect me anymore !!! :-D;-) 5:22 PM

Now this is a cat who wouldn't have had his last two jobs is yours truly hadn't shown him how to put together a resume, use MS Word, navigate the internet, get an email account, and so forth.
This is the same joker who had a 3.9 G.P.A. ,at the University of Phoenix, studying Healthcare Management because yours truly helped him with 95 Percent of his assignments for three terms. So, when I decide I've tutored him enough, and he should be able to complete his assignments on his own he throws a tirade and drops out. Now he cries the blues about not having a degree and he can't get ahead in life. Don't get me wrong, I don't extend help to others in hopes of getting my shine or something monetary in return -- I truly love my fellow human beings and want to see us all shine. But focus your attention to what TL says: 

T L: I told u he dont have it plus Im not paying 4 internet anymore unless its 4 my on damn computer, I told u Im not doing anything 4 anybody !!! 4:18 PM
T L: I have 2 get cut throat like everyone else, cause the fucked up people seems 2 b the ones enjoying life. When I get my computer I will get wireless net b 4:27 PM
T L: ut have a block on it so it only works on my shit !!! 4:27 PM  <~~ See? Is he or isn't he the rankest of hypocrites? Dude, how can you bitch about society being shitty in general when you make statements like this? How can you bitch about not having your degree when YOU made the choice to drop out because another grew fatigued with doing your work for you? You can't be conditioned this way as me and, I'm sure, many other people have gone out of their way to help you? In addition, what will blocking your internet connection do to better YOUR situation and does anyone really care? Shit, McDonald's has FREE WiFi in case you didn't know, TL! *laughing*  But this is a case of bitchassness by way of a proud, selective, short memory, and the end result may well be more mediocrity and lameness in everything that you do. 

Since we're talking about bitchassness and the bootleg adults of the world, what the hell is Congress doing? I'm hard pressed to find a case in which there has been more fuckery and incompetence amongst a group so-called "leaders" and "highly-educated" people. The sad part is that YOU hire/elect these fucks to loan YOUR hard-earned cash to bail-out Wall Street, the automotive industry, and various other non-essential interest and they fuck it off. All the while they are selling us an illusion that there is no cash on hand the keep the government running? Gotcha. Previously, I said "YOU hire/elect" because I'm a Washingtonian, friends. Congress Woman Holmes-Norton doesn't have a vote in the house because they've been screwing D.C. with no K-Y for decades, but yet we still pay federals taxes. Anywho, Congress Woman Holmes-Norton doesn't have a vote in the house so she doesn't contribute to the fuckery. Nevertheless, how'd we get here and what do we do? Simple. Make those clowns, that are misappropriating your hard-earned cash (I don't think strippers pay taxes on what they earn from lap dances), pay on election day. What happened to President Obama and " Yes,We Can"? I know he inherited a bloody mess but he hasn't exactly done an A plus job, has he? I know that there are some Negroes out there reading this cursing me for even mentioning President Obama, but to say he hasn't made some blunders along the way is in no way accurate. *sighing* My blog isn't a political forum so I will stay away from the politics but I just had to get that out. 

Last week I wrote a lite piece speaking on the State of the D.C. Music Union and I meant every word of it -- Wale is not a lyricist and, in my opinion, wack. I also feel that D.C. has superior MC's and he's not the best that D.C. (The DMV) has to offer. That's my OPINION, friends, and i'm sticking with that opinion ... so keep the hate mail coming! *laughing*  I also need to mention that I forgot the super-talented Meshell N'degeocello. Big Up's, Meshell ... lemme hold a couple dollars until this recession is over. 

There used to be a time where cats were proud to be from D.C. and would rep everything within it's 9.8 square miles. Go-Go, Nautica Sweatpants and K-Swiss, Chicken Wings and Mambo Sauce, Georgia Avenue Day, Etc. But, as I said, D.C. Cats haven't developed their own sound bedsides Go-Go. They wanna sound like the jokers down south and out west. Look, those are THEIR sounds ... they pioneered those hip-hop genres! D.C. needs to come with something original and exciting. That jam "Rising-Up" Wale did with The Roots and Chisette Michelle was the shit, and we've been using that same formula for decades. A heavy percussion section, keyboards, and a pretty, big-butt chick on vocals with a dope MC. How do we get that formula out to the masses without compromising the integrity of the product? I'm not a music producer (though I could be) but I gather if we put together a contingent of hip-hop artist, on the same page as far as the sound goes, we can push our agenda out to the masses. e.g. The Dungeon Family, St. Lunatics, Bone-Thugs, Boot Camp Click, Wu-Tang, etc.  Who knows ... it's just an idea.

 Well, I don't have much more today, friends. I could go on a rant about how the dating scene sucks here in the city, but who would listen anyway? I can tell you what me, Frankie, Marc, and Danny have come up with lately: Sista's give you a lot more bullshit, attitude, and games here in the metro area -- but that's another blog for another day. They demand so much and offer so little ... who wants that? What else? Oh, I've officially boycotted Clyde's of Chinatown/Gallery Place until they get some black people on the wall! **In my Bugging Out voice from Do The Right Thing**   

Everyone have a productive and peaceful work-week! As always, you're free to Email, DM, Tweet, and IM me with any comments, beefs, or suggestions. In addition, any scorned wives, disgruntled baby-mama's, cheating girlfriends, or unwanted jump-offs holla at 'cha boy! How'd that old jam go? "If you don't want her don't waste your time ... I'LL TAKE HER!" *laughing* I'm only kidding... sorta. Stay Groovy and God Bless! <3 ;O)  

Your Old Pal,

The Hedonist

Friday, April 1, 2011


NOTE: This column will also appear on 
One day late last week, while sitting in the dining room with my cornball sister (@inthemixwithtre /, she asked me to write something on the music scene here in D.C. for DMV BLOG and  Uh, what music scene, love? What have I ever done to you for you to task me with something so daunting?

For the record, I'm a true Washingtonian, friends. Not one of those chumps that you see on the train, that went to American University or George Washington, got an education, and decided to stay. I bleed Burgundy and Gold (Redskins) and remember Redskins Games at RFK that my pops would take me to on a Sunday. I know about "Cool Disco Dan" and that A REAL WASHINGTONIAN calls RAYFUL EDMUND "RAYFUS".  So, it's safe for me to say that I've seen just about everything that D.C. has had to offer musically. We've had some outstanding cats come out of this town; awesome cats like Chuck Brown (Rock and Roll Hall of Famer), Marvin Gaye (The TRUE FATHER of Neo-Soul), and Roberta Flack. And then you have your second tier cats like Kenny Lattimore, Mya, Tony Terry, E.U., who've had some moderate success. Bringing up the rear are your cats like Questionmark Asylum, NonChalant, and Junkyard Band. All of these are very talented individuals and bands, but other than the "top tier" no one has gone on to super-stardom. Okay, shut up, I haven't forgotten about Wale and Raheem Devaughn. But I would go out on a limb to say that they aren't superstars -- but we will get back around  to those guys later on down the line.

We are gonna break this discussion into three separate genres for a more concise discussion:  Soul (R&B), Hip-Hop, and Go-Go.

There's no question that we've had some amazing talent come out of D.C. like Ce-Ce Peniston, Marvin Gaye and, most recent, Raheem Devaughn (who emerged from the neo-soul/go-go band Urban Avenue Ref: Urban Avenue - "Heaven Help Us"). But these are singer-songwriters and vocalists, and if you follow music, most soul singers/vocalists have cut their teeth in the church, which makes them a much more polished product when they present themselves to the public. I have a pair of friends, a couple, Kevin and Canda Darryl-Clark. K-Nix is an outstanding MC/Producer and overall cool guy. Canda is a singer-songwriter and producer also. You would think they're rolling in the dough, drinking Moet Rose', and lending-out cash, but they are not. Why is this? Simple ... Respect ... or, rather, lack of respect.

CECE is STILL amazing! 

In the music industry, especially soul music, when you say soul most people think of Detroit (Motown), Philadelphia (Philly Soul), and Atlanta (LA Reid, Trackmasters, and Babyface). For some unknown reason Chocolate City doesn't get the respect that other cities do as far our place on the soul music map. As great as Marvin Gaye was he still had to migrate to Barry Gordy's hometown to get his shine. It's not that we don't have talent oozing out of this great city, it's that folk tend to think that our town doesn't measure up to the talent coming out of other cities. In addition, there's not a community/movement with a wide-spread voice, in larger music circles, to push our product and agenda into the ears and faces of the music world. 
Rakim The God

Hip-Hop is a different monster that deals with identity, or D.C.'s lack of identity. New York is known for it's great lyricists and their melodic flow. e.g. Nas, Rakim, Biggie, Ghostface, MC Lyte, and Mos Def. That area is also known for great battle MC's like KRS-ONE, Redman, 50 Cent, LL Cool J, and Joe Budden. You head down south and out west, heavy bass lines and club banging beats have thrown them into the hip-hop elite. In addition, the south and the west also have great lyricists. I'm talking Snoop Dog, Andre 3000, Souls of Mischief, Lil Wayne, Silk the Shocker, Mia X, and The Game. I get sick to my stomach to know that the Mid-West has gotten on the map before D.C. Please don't get me wrong, Common Sense and Bone, Thugs, and Harmony are BOTH in my Top 20 of all-time. But we're only 255 miles from NYC, friends ... how the hell did Nelly's wack ass go on to be in an international star but we can't even get a seat on Hip-Hop's front lawn. The answer is easy. Bone Thugs and Nelly (as WACK as he is) had their own original sounds that were new and exciting. Simple. Most cats from the DMV area don't have their own sound -- nothing original at all. Lets take Wale for instance, shall we? He can rap but he's certainly not a lyricist. Just go back to that BET Cypher he was on (you can Youtube it) some time back. He had the worst flow in the entire cypher! Wale's style of MCing (like most D.C. MC's) sounds like he is just rhyming words over a quasi-down south beat -- You never at any point feel that he is flowing. Now Fatso Skinny, Tabi Bonney, and K-Nix they give you well thought-out, witty verses ... they're are the exception. 

Last year I went to a venue with my sister, Tre, called Weyone; it's supposed to be D.C.'s "House of Hip-Hop". I can truly say that I felt that I was in a "dive-club" in Durham, North Carolina (Joe Traxx is gonna kill me when he comes over to the house), as there were very few lyricist and a lot of shouting and bouncing. What I'm saying is that, to the rest of the hip-hop world, D.C. comes off as unoriginal and lacking depth and quality.

My girl (one of my very best friends), Faiza, has teased me from the very beginning of our very long friendship, "Yo, KP, when is D.C. gonna get their turn at bat? The south is running shit now, Dre and Snoop got paid ... even the Clipse, Mad Skillz, and wack Magoo have made some noise. What's good with y'all in D.C." ...I can only drop my head in silence. See, Shadz (Faiza) is from Crown Heights Brooklyn NYC. So she thinks she's the oracle of hip-hop as compared to me and she never lets me forget that the best has to offer is Wale. Look, I am happy for Wale's success and that he reps D.C. to the fullest ... I JUST don't like his brand of hip-hop. Let's be real, there some cats in Harlem that probably can't stand Jim Jones and Dipset, right? Questionmark Asylum were good but they never got their shine and I think Mistafiss was too busy wondering if I was breaking his sweetie's back while he was working on beats. 

Now I'm not saying ALL of the MC's and Producers are unoriginal, that would simply be a lie. I AM saying is we need an original sound that's all our own. Our original sound is Go-Go and God Bless it. Thanks to Chuck, Essence, Junk, E.U., Redds and the Boys, and Benny I have some very fond memories as a young teen. Other than Chuck and E.U. though, nobody has taken us global. I'm bummed at this fact but not mad. I sincerely think Go-Go was ahead of it's time compounded with the fact that Hip-Hop had a much more powerful movement in the 80's and 90's, so we didn't get our shine. This is not to say that we won't ever make a Nelly-type splash on the music scene but it will take some time. Questionmark Asylum had a song featuring Chuck Brown on their album which was, I would say, the second best track on the whole CD. But due to awful marketing and other factors that song never got pushed as the second single off of the album. Youtube the song and you will find that it's the perfect blend of Rap and Go-Go, on par with or surpassing everything comparable except The Roots "Rising Up" (Where Wale actually SHINED).  

Your boy, The Eclectic a.k.a The Hedonist, has an undying love for D.C. and everything in it. I totally respect all of the great artist I've come to know through my sister Tre and other promoters. But the DMV music scene can NOT remain "underground" if it wants to thrive and thrust itself onto the national music scene. In addition, you Negroes can't be acting like fucking fools down there in VA , tearing up hotels, and making us look worst on the national scene. How the hell y'all gonna act like damn fools at one of the only chances we get to shine nationally? *smdh* ...but that's a another blog for another day. Be Peace and God Bless.

The Eclectic a.k.a The Hedonist

Any comments, beefs, hating, or unhappy wives, girlfriends, baby mommas, jump-offs hit me up through one of the methods below. Stay Groovy!