Tuesday, August 23, 2011

I SHOULD BE WORKING: Random thoughts from an unrepentant slacker... WHO'S ALSO A HEDONIST! ;o)

So I'm sitting here in the conference room with my man, Andrew, goofing-off. It's funny, until today I had no idea what "Drew" (as he likes to be called) did here. Every time I ran into him --which is every damn day-- he is almost is fresh as I am; he has comparable gadgets (even though my phone and Tab are superior to his ... his MP3 is better); and he's pretty damn smart. Anyway, we get to kicking it pretty tough because in the big-ass conference room, there is only ONE electrical outlet that fucking works today so we had to share. I'm not joking around with you guys! Well, while goofing-off on this fine, summer morning I get a message from an old girlfriend talking some rudy-poo, cockamamie small-talk. Now I'm quite the jovial guy in the majority of my interactions. I try to be empathetic and a good listener to not only friends but to anyone I encounter. But something about this woman's random texts and other correspondence just seems phony to me. She said something ...uh, PHONY regarding our not being together anymore and I lit her ass up in three sentences. Instead of just taking her tongue-lashing, she replied and proceeded to tell me how educated and professional she is and gentlemen shouldn't curse -- BUT she ended her correspondence with a curse word. *laughing* What a hypocrite! For privacy's sake lets call her Martha, okay. Martha, I KNOW I'm smarter than 90 Percent of the HUMAN BEINGS I come across on a daily basis. Professional? Baby, that's subjective ... really, it is. If a hoe asks you whether you'd prefer the green or the purple condom does that make her a professional? Maybe it does, Martha, but she's still a hoe, correct? You get where I'm coming from or going with that, and I DIDN'T elude to you being a hoe.  Besides, Martha, what does you being professional have to do with my blasting your ass when you try to casually feed me erroneous information early in the morning? I don't care whether Andrew and I are goofing-off or not, no one wants to hear madness at 10am in the morning. Nevertheless, I am just as professional as you, baby, and in more arenas ... don't get things tangled and twisted over there in Dupont Circle. As for gentlemen don't curse and assign blame where it's NEEDED? ...get the fuck outta here. I could go on but I'm not gonna put the business out there unless I'm provoked further by your aloof and erroneous thinking, Sweetie. xoxoxoxo  <3 :O) 

TRAIN! One of my Favorite Bands!!! ;O)

You know I just dropped my Online Dating Commandments to mixed reviews over the weekend. *sighing* I was somewhat bummed but who gives a damn as I never said it was my best literary effort. I, myself, think it was quite groovy but I am naturally biased due to the fact that I AM the author. But I am adding an 11th Commandment: Thou shalt be as you appear. Look, ladies, if you're chubby/curvy or a BBW, or "a few extra pounds" let it be what it is. Be proud of yourself. Me, personally, I like me a thick (NOT FAT) red-head or brunette in the winter months. There's absolutely nothing better than some of that good January shower lovin' from a thick woman ... but that's just me. But, girls, when ALL of your pics are head shots or from a certain angle, and there are NO full-body shots on your profile, we know you're carrying some weight around. Just let us see it so we'll know if we can manage it -- most brotha's can ladies! *wink-wink* BLUE DENIM AND GOLDEN CONDOMS, Ladies!!!!!!

Moving on, I decided to take 15mins. to get some things off of my chest, friends. Enjoy your work-week and God Bless You All!! BTW - Andrew is one of our Program Directors! *laughing* 

Your Old Pal, 

The Hedonist