Monday, August 29, 2011

The Hedonist's Thoughts On Cheating - Part I

I’ve been getting several emails and FB Inbox messages from cats and chicks asking me what to I think about cheating spouses/wifey’s/boyfriends/etc. *sighing* I have various opinions floating around on the subject, but I have to pose the question to my audience: What is cheating really and what are your relationship boundaries? This is an important question that we must pose to ourselves to attain clarity on our own wants and intentions. Like me, I can’t stand a broad that thinks she’s slicker and smarter than the old boy. Back in the glorious days I’d let my anger consume me, fly-off, and curse the whigger out but those days have changed. In 2011 you have to use your head and think like a gentleman. Either play along with the game or move-on (which I tend to do both once I have concrete evidence on the skank), but that’s somewhat of another blog so I’ll just stick to my thoughts on cheating. After which, I will hit you guys off with a sister blog of sorts to give a different perspective. 

Anywho, As it has been the topic of much debate and discussion lately (Cheating) -- thanks in part to the recent celebrity cheating sagas surrounding the likes of and Jada Pinkett Smith, Marc Anthony, and Tiger Woods-- it’s time to clarify the Hedonist’s position on cheating. Cheating is, unfortunately, a part of dating and relationships, but there are boundaries that respectful and honorable peeps simply don’t cross. Nobody is immune to the cheating impulse; when the current relationship’s heat begins to fade, “the grass is always greener” feeling can strike us hard. Although the Hedonist continually labors beneath a variety of false stereotypes and accusations, one of the most irritating is the belief that the successful ladies’ man has no morals (i.e., he considers cheating as “part of the game”).

First and foremost, a true hedonist never cheats, nor will he attempt to pick up a girl (or guy … I don’t judge) who wishes to cheat. It’s not only counterproductive in the long run, but it also flies directly in the face of everything the HEDONISM stands for. The Hedonist adores women; cheating and adoration are mutually exclusive. Here are some of my thoughts on cheating.

First, allow me to say cheating doesn’t actually enhance anything. The common myth is that danger is titillating and can ramp up the passion of taboo encounters, but there’s a problem with this belief: “danger” is fleeting and such a sensation can rapidly shift, as foreboding tension can follow hot on the heels of heightened passion. Furthermore, as the very concept of cheating is rooted in something outside the physical union in question, such couplings are devoid of any real feeling or emotion. Those who have cheated will always try to say -- often in their own vain defense -- that it was “mechanical,” that they were just “going through the motions.” Well, of course: Cheating is about somebody else. There’s no real challenge or satisfaction in it and, lest we forget, the Hedonist is in this for ultimate satisfaction. I love taming a red-headed, blue-eyed, curvy diva as much as the next guy … even more as my thirst is insatiable, but if I have to sneak around to tame my curvy red-head I’m not getting the ultimate experience. I like to fuck on my time, WHERE I want to fuck, and with whomever, as all true hedonists should.

Now let me hit you with THIS: CHEATING IS FOR THE LAME, LAZY, WEAK, AND WEAK-MINDED. Honestly, it doesn’t take that much in the way of mental fortitude to resist temptation. Those who claim it was “irresistible” are desperately attempting to mask their weakness and it’s downright pathetic. Those who cheat do so for a variety of reasons, certainly, but none of them can be considered appealing character traits. They cheat because they can’t face an ugly breakup battle with their current partner (which is absurd, as cheating will inevitably lead to an even uglier battle), they cheat because they’re too lazy to end things, they cheat because they’re easily lured by the siren’s call. The true hedonist is familiar with the urges and doesn’t allow them to affect his or her behavior. We’ve already know how other people perceive cheaters; well, the hedonist is aware how cheating can affect his own self-image and self-esteem. I’m familiar with this Italian chick, an ASL expert, who can’t figure if she wants to chat/cozy-up with her lame ex, who doesn’t know how to pick his own college courses, or have any idea which direction his pathetic life is going; Or, if she’s willing to settle down with a guy, who supports her in every endeavor. This sort of woman is the worst of cheaters because she is lame and weak … she can’t make a decision as to what she wants for her and her child. She doesn’t have imagination or wisdom to look at the big picture. Even though she says she isn’t cheating she cheating emotionally, but that too is another blog!

These days, a person’s reputation may not mean as much as it did in days long past, but for someone who is often at the mercy of word-of-mouth, it’s essential. And because it can change in a split second, it requires constant upkeep and maintenance. Cheating is the single fastest way to tear down an entire body of work (Ref: ELDRICK “TIGER” WOODS; one moment of weakness can erase years of faithfulness produced by the most stalwart professional. There are plenty of other ways a man can damage his reputation in the eyes of the ladies, but nothing is more devastating than cheating. Even if it’s only a rumor, this spark can set off a wildfire that rages high and far. It’s almost impossible to extinguish, and although it may die out eventually, the destruction is significant and recovery can take a very long time. A reputation is a terrible thing to waste on something so… unfulfilling.

In truth, the true hedonist never has to cheat. If they’re unhappy with his current conquest, they have the resolve to simply make a clean break and pursue another target. They do this honestly, carefully and tactfully. On top of which, we’ve already solidified the fact that nailing a chick/dude who wishes to cheat takes no real skill, and a hedonist/player aspires to bigger and better things. Throughout the course of one’s excursions, you will frequently consider and dismiss opportunities that aren’t actually “opportunities” at all; they’re partially obscured traps that can lead to some nasty accidents. The learned pickup artist quickly recognizes such traps, steps deftly around them and pushes forward to achieve more satisfying sexual experiences via real effort. You know exactly what you want, and you know cheating won’t deliver your true desires.

In closing, friends, Many folk fall victim to the falsehood that a hedonist exists only to serve his own desires and as a direct result, he leaves a trail of destroyed hearts and bad feelings in his wake. That’s the description of a lame, lying creep, so get your definitions straight. The Hedonist doesn’t cheat, typically doesn’t spend time with cheaters, and perhaps above all else, he doesn’t have to cheat because he’s honest -- and a stand-up person.

Well, readers, I hope this answers your questions to MY PARTICULAR STANCE on cheating. Look, please don’t get me wrong: I’ve had more than my share of side-body but as we mature and evolve as human-beings, we see a bigger and better picture with crystal clarity.
Sidenote: I hate Blogger now ... it's grown quite shitty! Won't let me upload images. I'm migrating all of my shit over to Wordpress, I guess. 

Your Old Pal,

The Hedonist