Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Friends and Fuck Buddies: Ask for the Moon (Closed mouths never get fed)

Take a deep breath, suspend all disbelief and walk through the following(Admittedly ridiculous)conversation with me …

So, I'm at an after-party with a relative -- I attended a professional ballroom dancing competition. The appetizers and drinks are flowing (this excursion was on particular relative's dime ... so this makes the weekend outstanding!), and the conversations are jovial and varied. With Kristien being Kristien, I'm drinking my fill and working the room as any proper hedonist/gentleman would do. While patrolling the room i came across gentleman who was, perhaps, 7 years my elder. Our conversation skipped from topic-to-topic until we landed the amazing Eastern European Chicks that were so abundant in the room. Here's part of the conversation:

Me: Man, what do you think about that foxy, little brunette number over there by fireplace?

Charles: She’s nice … maybe a little too nice. I usually go for the average-looking dancers. They’re easier to approach and, more importantly, here at these after-parties, they’re more likely let you fuck the first night.

Me: Word? Wow … but who says the fine chicks aren’t fucking just as quickly or even more so? That’s crazy … I’m shooting at the best thing available that’s not attached to someones arm.

Charles: I see were you’re coming from, buddy? But I don’t go through the all of the red tape and attitudes when you could fuck just as easy or easier with the average looking babe who’s just as flexible!

Me: Huh?

Charles, allow me to help you out and tell you exactly WHY your logic is flawed, my friend.

You were always told that it’s important to have standards in life: to aim high, to keep shooting for new and loftier goals. However, we tend to forget this in the face of seemingly overwhelming obstacles, like when the pool of quality females runs dry and you’re suddenly contemplating a step backward. It isn’t a “step backward” in your increasingly desperate mind, because to avoid that lonely sensation creeping up your spine, you begin to justify and rationalize. It happens to every man at one time or another. “She’s prettier when she’s in a certain light.” “She’s not that stupid; she just has unique insights.” “It’d be tough for a supermodel to look great in such a bad dress.” Sometimes, you simply make the argument that less-than-favorable company is better than none at all; unfortunately, this can lead to a downward spiral. Pretty soon, you’re sleeping with anything that breathes and stands erect.


Building and maintaining a good reputation is one of the prime concerns for A Player, and anything that can have a detrimental effect on this can easily hinder his future actions and plans. If you start slipping and you begin to entertain a certain “standard” that isn’t up to your standards, word will get around. The ladies can try to convince everyone that they never notice the type of women a guy dates -- but we all know it matters, which is why your high standards must remain intact. Sacrificing your requirements for the sake of a roll in the sack or the back of your Audi is something desperate, lonely men do, and if you find yourself in that position, you can hardly consider yourself a pickup artist. It’s all about keeping up appearances. As a side benefit, you will also keep your essential Player skills finely honed -- it’s always more difficult to land a woman of quality, right?

Here’s a scenario:  OK, so you just had sex. But you settled. You didn’t really have your pick of the crowd that night and in the end, it feels more like a disappointment than a success. Scoring with the hottest, most sought-after Player-loving women gives you an ego boost that can quite literally last for weeks, and this directly feeds your motivation and desire to adhere to the highest of standards. When you’re stuck with your “plan D” on a continual basis, something is off. Besides, you begin to think you don’t need the better-quality woman. You start to entertain the damaging theory that says, “If I don’t get her, I can always nail the drunk, slightly overweight one over there.” It will eventually stunt your ability to conquer the best of the best and, one day, you’ll turn around and realize that your level of fulfillment has fallen drastically. This is why the importance of high standards matters. Don’t let this happen to you.

You are a high-class individual, and while any good ladies’ man prides himself on adaptation, on easily and fluidly relating to all women, certain girls are simply more suited to your lifestyle. They may have higher expectations (say, a Broadway show and an elegant dinner over a chain restaurant and window shopping), but at the same time, they will appreciate the finer things in life, which means their esteem for you reflects back in your favor. Furthermore, the more you associate with a higher-caliber woman, the more you will become involved with that circle of society and the more you will be forced to adapt (i.e., act the part). Such a strategic maneuver shows forward thinking: You are setting yourself up for more contacts of a similar style and personality, and with little in the way of extra effort. This should help you reconnect with your high standards.

Nevertheless, the night would have it that neither one of us left with a chick from what I saw. My wingman, Brian, had familial obligations so he had to jet back down 95, but all-in-all it was a good weekend. But back to what I was saying, friends: Never lower your standards when it comes to anything in life -- Friends, Family, Sex, Work, Respect, Music, or ANYTHING! Always shoot for moon or something outer-worldly and groovy! I gotta get back to work. Stay Groovy and Be Peace!

Your Old Pal,

The Hedonist