Sunday, November 21, 2010

So I Didn't Go To Church Today (Assuming makes an ASS0...

There are times that I truly believe that my escapades and misadventures in dating could be made into a three-part trilogy along with the Matrix, Godfather, and Toy Story... no shit. While completing one of my better Sunday evening listening mixes, before heading out, I was reflecting on the events of the past week. And the mix is the bomb-diggy! I have jams like Madonna “Crazy for You”, Sly and The Family Stone “If you want me so stay”, Lisa Stansfield (who is my baby mama) “All Woman”, Maxwell “Sumthin' Sumthin', The Rolling Stones “Start Me Up” and “Let's Spend The Night Together, Swing Out Sister, Billy Ocean, and tons of other fly shit.

Side Note – I've made it a policy not to name names or refer to any specific person unless: 

1) You're someone like Tre or Sharon (two of my sisters) who don't mind. 

2) Your transgression with me was so egregious (Fat Heidi, look the word up...I don't have time to explain!) that I HAD to speak on it in a public forum for therapeutic reasons and let Earth's resident's know how much of a lame and trifling you are. 

3) I got permission from the person directly. 

 I say this because you can't imagine the number of text messages, IM, and emails I received after last week's blog. “Kris, I know you weren't talking about me, were you?” or “Why would you put me out there like that, we aren't friends any longer?” Did I? Which number were you? ;-P **laughing** Stop it! Unless I name names my rantings don't apply to you. Read and move on.

My friend, Robert Greene, said it best in his book The 48 Laws of Power. Ladies and Gentlemen, Bobby Greene: “Words have the insidious ability to be interpreted by ones moods and insecurities” Did everyone catch that? Ones MOODS and INSECURITIES. Now those of you who are my FB see my status messages on a daily basis. And you, my FB Friends and Readers, know that I have written a list of Facebook Etiquette Rules (which I will re-post or you can scroll and find it for yourself) that I follow to the last comma and period. I don't do the status message wars, or publicly call out or offend folk on my page. When I post something it's usually motivational or dry-humor or something witty. What's the point doing shit like that (blasting people)? More often than not the person ends up looking stupid and in need of attention – on some 'ole woe as me madness. But by me being this way, I detest when folk post little subliminal shit meant for me knowing I won't engage in a status message war. If you have something to say to me be an adult and pick up the phone to call me or come see me. Don't be a coward and post it for your friends, admirers, and chat buddies to comment when they don't know even 1/3 of the situation.

Random Rant: I guess my home slice, The Great Gazoo, was somewhat prophetic in what he was saying last week. I won't give him the satisfaction of telling him he may have been right nor will I tell him what it is. I will just say that you might have touched on something, Gazoo.

So I was supposed to hang out with a friend for the past 8 days but between business, work, family, stress, Youtube, and sleep things had yet to come to fruition. No one's fault in particular, things just happen in the course of human events. Between my homie working nights, kids, going on dates, chatting on Blackplanet, Yahoo and Facebook, and whatever else they do with their time, things have been chaotic for my homie also. Even Chelly will tell you that we have this same problem also, but she is more of the playa-playa type so I come AFTER hot dates, Family Guy, and Choir Practice... I get the cheap wine and curry in small portions these days. C'est La Vie, I guess. **Laughing** Anywho, we planned to get together, hang-out on the town, bar-hop, and find some trouble before Homie goes into work that night. The previous night a bunch of us partied until, perhaps, 5-515am about 40mins. North of the city (actually, about 13mins from homies house... I'm telling you this for a reason). So I'm texting back and forth with Homie, for 20-25mins, while coming back down the BW Parkway, trying to solidify plans. We agreed to a time a little past noon the upcoming day to meet – I was to drive back to Baltimore to pick Homie up. I hope that you guys are taking note of the logistics of the impending rendezvous. I'm in your suburb at 6 am. Our meeting is in 6 hours. I'm about to drive BACK to DC then drive BACK to Bmore to pick YOU up to drive BACK to DC. Now, being the friend that I AM, I would have said “Homie, you're buzzed and around the corner... come crash on the couch and we will just leave for DC tomorrow, since you're here anyway, Playa!” ...but that's just how me and inner-circle think and act towards friends.

Side Note: I have an insane amount of respect for this person so I don't understand were the disconnect continues to comes in. What am I missing here. Please give me some feedback, Gang.

Well, your boy got home safe (The Sun was coming up) and went to sleep. Upon awakening I had a monster hangover and bubbly stomach, so I contact Homie and let them know what the deal is. I told them that I was gonna lay back down for a while but we were still on and poppin'! Homie agreed and hung up.  I slept much longer than expected... who knew? I check my text messages and have three borderline-shitty but definitely sarcastic messages from homie (as I took them), along with a similar voice message. I reply apologizing for oversleeping and leaving things open … no response. Later, I log-on to Facebook only to find my time-line sprinkled with sarcastic shit that Homie has posted in their status box directed at yours truly! WTF?!? I'm a “chump” now, eh? Wow! There was also some other slick comments posted but I wont air the business out because that's not how I flow. As much as I want to go into specifics (Lord, it's killing me, PLEASE!), that's just not my bag and this person isn't an enemy... lets just hope things don't change. It seems that this person took something that I posted in my status box waaaaaaay out of context – as if my statement was meant to be malicious. As if I was being INSIDIOUS in what I wrote, you know?

Look, Homie, I'm not a child nor am I a CHUMP. If I had a gripe with you I would have addressed you personally and not call you names on a web-site to get a Amen or chuckle out of my friends. I really don't care what you do WITH WHO or move on to, or if you're naughty or nice – it doesn't weight that much to me. Believe me, friend, as my friends will attest to this: If Kristien wanted to air you out publicly, Kristien would devote part of or an entire blog with images and all; I wouldn't do it on Facebook to get a “that's what's up” or “Amen”... it's first-class only. I'm no longer peeved at the situation but I had to speak my displeasure with your actions. We can move on or you can move out of my circle. “One monkey don't stop no show” as the Old Timers would say.  I love you, Little/Big Homie but you're wrong on this one, but we can let the past be the past. 

I have another FB friend gripe but it was nipped in the bud almost immediately as what she did was petty and childish. I'm sure she could feel a bad moon rising. Emotions and history aside, I was ready to pounce, Gang.  

I don't know, gang, I think I need a hug or something. I've been at the tipping point for three weeks now. I'm almost always a patient and empathetic person but lately I've been off of my square. The Hedonist needs a good woman, good food, and good loving... good holiday loving. 

Side Note -  I was only half-joking, yesterday, when I said there are no good women left anymore. Three of my girls took exception but they knew I wasn't referring to them.  I am talking those that I catch in their falsehoods and fuckery -- they are wannabe pimps.  But to all of those who did take offense you have my apologies IF it doesn't apply to you. Meesh, Micki, Britt-Britt, Steph(Ms. Amazing), Megs, Rebecca, Ebony, Tracey, my sisters, Kimi, Vonda, and Sara... you're the tops and you know this ladies.  I guess my pessimism and overall bad attitude stem from the impending holidays that are upon us. Who knows?

Well, this blog was just “on the spot” emotions and filler to get us on to the festive but serious Holiday Blog coming on Wednesday. I'm gonna lose some friends on this one more than likely but, hey, I'm gonna say what I have to say. Black Woman have been getting away with this fuckery for decades and now's the time to shine a light on the great lie. Stay Groovy and God Bless!! <3 ;O)

All the Best,

The Hedonist