Thursday, September 2, 2010

Dating Stereotypes 1.0

Well, I did have a lot to cover in this particular installment of Hedonistic Rantings. Instead, I decided to streamline things and touch on something that's been bugging several of my comrades for quite some time: How hypocritical women have become as of lately -- IN TERMS OF DATING AND RELATIONSHIPS. Now all three genders (Male, Female, and Transgender) are guilty of this sorta thing but, as my comrades have recently observed, women are just downright blatant with it.

One of my comrades (Let's call him Mario) says, "Kris, it used to be just the Sista's, but it's all of them these days!" "Huh... what, Dawg Pound?" "Maaan, they all are some lames, not just black women!" I know this is a tad bit confusing so let me give you some background, if I may: There has been this long-standing myth amongst black men that not only are Caucasian women more "audacious" in bed, but Caucasians actually treat you better and, in large part, are straight-shooters (i.e. Honest). I haven't done any research on how this myth started (Gimme a week or so), but I can say that I've heard it on various occasions, at different times, in the past 35 years. My guess would be that interracial relationships weren't as widely accepted as they are now, so cats not in-the-know just made shit up in casual conversation. Conjointly, there was usually one cat in most circles who customarily dated outside of his race, and would brag about all of the positive aspects of his relationship while omitting the negatives.

So Mario meets this Irish Chick (Let's call her Tammy) on BlackPlanet (Don't ask... I DIDN'T) and they start corresponding at a regular rate, sometimes four or five times a day not including Oovoo. Side note: For those of you who don't know, Oovoo is very similar to Skype and it's gaining a lot of momentum ( Moving on, so Mario says that they go out on a several "dates" and "hook-up" on at least one occasion. **High-Five @ Mario!** But after a couple of weeks Mario starts noticing things that he thinks are bizarre; her communication starts to become erratic and she only wants to meet at certain times of the day... even on a weekend! Here's Mario:

"So Kris, dawg, I'm in Silver Spring @ Galaxy's with Sammy and guess who we see? This hoe, Tammy, with some Mexican dude, taking vodka shots over at one of the pool tables!" "No bullshit, Player... what did you do?" "Nigga, I was cool about the whole thing, I just waved and played pool... but I could tell she was uncomfortable, Dawg."

Mario then proceeds to tell me that Tammy called him that Monday and said "Mario, we are not in a relationship, we are dating, baby!" Wow. This is the same chick that Mario says has "Facebook Quarrels" with his long-time, female classmates. The same chick that stalks his Twitter and BlackPlanet Pages. Currently, Mario is in a state of disarray because he doesn't see how Tammy is oblivious to his side of the argument as why he sees something shady in her being out with dude. "Kris, but she was giving me the ass, dawg!" "So?" "So how could we just be dating?" "Ask her... Je ne sais pas"

Now Tammy is a hypocrite seeing that she has petty quarrels with other females on his social networking sites and stalks (so he says) his Twitter Account, but he should have asked for some clarification once he "hit dat" if he wanted something exclusive.

I can honestly say that there is no general, dating paradigm out there -- especially if there hasn't been any specific dialog between the individuals -- but there is a thing called common courtesy. Nathan (another of my comrades who characteristically dates caucasian women) says, "KP, from my experience, women from other races are usually more selective in who they give their heart and bring home more so than who they date. Therefore, dating is nothing but something to do unless otherwise stated... even if you are knocking her back out!"


I've dated all shapes, sizes, colors, and creeds, Gang. I can say that I have noticed only subtle differences sexually in the women I dated (Even the Chinese Mommy I dated... she was a tad pit plump) as far as mechanics go. **wink-wink** I mean some where thick and more durable while others were thinner and more flexible. Hold up, that's another blog or another day. *laughing* What I am saying is that some where shady and some where straight-up; some played me while monogamy was all other could think about. Wtf? I don't know. I can, personally, say that I have had waaaay more dating horror stories with sista's than any other race by far. But I can't say every sista that I meet is going to be that way.

My home-slice Christopher thinks Sista's are more into romance in the classical sense while caucasions want more of a laid-back if it comes it comes sorta thing. I've one friend who says, "Kristien, I want to be your wife and work having a family, hun." and she's Caucasian. On the other hand, I have one friend who "just wants to go out and do the Happy Hour Thang" and she's a sister.

Now I do think that age plays a factor in all of this. I mean most women, as they get older, want to settle down and have a family as their clock is ticking -- that's not a color thing. In all races, in your younger years, we are a loose and nonchalant about dating and hooking-up as we feel we have time on our hands.

I have a million thoughts and ideas to expand upon but I have emails to return, protocol to read, and I want to heat-up these Tacos. Hmm, I think I'm gonna stop here and finish-up another time... make this a Three Part kinda deal. Catch you tomorrow. Peace Peace!!

The Hedonist